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man, seriously, i need to make some changes in my life. i keep getting stuck in this sleep schedule of up until 7am, in bed until 3 or 4, and then when i do wake up i really don't want to get out of bed. then when i have to work i'm all sorts of tired. not to mention the fact that i have been eating soooo much sugary stuff. it is VERY normal for me (and most people, in my opinion) to gain winter weight. i can't go outside and play and ALL of the winter holidays are full of fatty food. this year, however, i seem to be particularly drawn to sugary stuff. for instance, last night i made rice krispies treats and ate a quarter of them, and this afternoon when i got up, i ate some for breakfast. and i'll be totally honest - when i go to the store to get groceries, i almost always get something sweet to munch on for the ride home. all day at work i eat candy. on top of that, i consume large quantities of pop. i have made it back up to 190, and that leaves me feeling pretty bad about myself.
now that i have all this free time with ryan working all week (this week he picked up a shift on wednesday, and he'll most likely continue to do that) i have a big opportunity. with all this free time, i NEED to start exercising. i spent a good deal of time last night searching for what kind of exercise is what i need. well, obviously i need to be doing aerobics in some form. i think i also want to do like one day of belly dancing a week, mostly because it looks fun and i already love the music, and because it will help in the weight loss/toning of certain muscles. the reason i haven't exercised up to this point is because i feel REALLY STUPID doing it, especially if i know someone is here who might watch. when i wanted to lose a couple of pounds for the wedding, i exercised in the shower (seriously) or waited until ryan went to bed and did it in the bedroom with the door closed. yeah, i know it sounds silly, but it's the same reason i don't dance - i look like an idiot. that of course all stems back to the self confidence. so, my conclusion is this: if i can exercise, i can lose weight, if i lose weight, i will increase my self confidence. easy enough, right?
by the way, i did manage to find an online belly dancing video tutorial. it's egyptian belly dancing, and from what i've watched so far, the instructor is great. she teaches you the steps and coordination, and after you watch the lesson, you scroll down for more information. she gives you the name of the artist and song that she dances to, a short biography and sometimes music video, and then there is a video of a belly dancer in a movie sort of thing below that, as well as a kind of history of that dancer. on the third lesson there is also a couple of warm up videos (cause y'know, if you're gonna exercise, you need to warm up first!) link: www.bellydaneboulevard.com i heart arabic music! part of the reason i want to do belly dance is just that - the music. another reason is i think it will help with my hips, because it will undoubtedly loosen those babies up. and also because i think that i could rock a belly dance.
yeah, i'm kind of excited about this. there's a distinct possibility that if i can do this exercise crap, i can lose some weight and build some muscle and attain some form of self confidence, and that would help me in LITERALLY nearly every single facet of my life.
wish me luck!



when the weather gets nicer we should go walking... maybe we could even go to for mar sometime. i'll probably have lydia with me, she loooves outside. I am totally in a rut. i gobble up soooo many rice crispy treats, thats why i dont make them that much lol. i was looking at mandy's wedding photos when i realized how fat i've really gotten, its kind of embarassing. i knew i gained weight, i didnt realize how big i am now... i need to get these pounds off, too.

Re: walking

oh, i'd love that. lol, that is, as long as we don't get lost like we did in the hogbacks. yeah and not only were they rice krispies treats, i made them with fruity pebbles. SO. GOOD. i also found a good aerobic regimen: you do squats, thrusts, girl push ups, jumping jacks and crunches in 10 reps of 10. you can see a video of it here: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1438876/the_30_minute_revs_workout/ i suggest you mute the sound, it's just background music. it's easy enough, and it's one of those things you can really pace yourself with. for instance, my first day i only did 3 reps, and i intend on slowly working in more as my body gets more accustomed to it. prepare for muscle aches, though! i'm pretty excited about it, just doing it the first day i felt SO GOOD from using my muscles and getting my heart rate and blood moving around. of course now i'm sitting here eating a left over cheeseburger....