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that's where it is

i was just reading through some OLD entries (i'm talking 2003-2006) and it hit me. smacked me right in the damn face: i am SO happy that my life changed drastically from '06 to '10. there are some great memories, don't get me wrong. and i personally haven't changed too much from the person i was. however, so much good has happened to me. i'm so glad that now i'm in a situation where i KNOW i'm going to have a roof over my head tonight (unless the meth heads burn it down, then i get a shiny new home), i KNOW i'm going to have food to eat. i KNOW that the man i'm with actually cares about me. i am in a place in life that despite it's hardships (and they are fucking hard sometimes) i actually have security in some places, and i have finally found a place where i feel like i belong. i may not have a lot of friends, and i may miss out on some experiences, but w that pales in comparison to the experience i'm getting right now. i like that i don't party anymore. i LOVE that i finally found a man who lets me be myself and tries, actually tries, to help me when i'm not myself. i'm proud of myself, i've come a long way baby. there are always things that aren't so great, but the things that are even half way decent make those things seem so few and far between that it almost doesn't matter. you've gotta take the good with the bad they say, and i think i'm actually starting to be able to handle it. if nothing else, i am ABSOLUTELY more secure in who i am as a person and what i want from life. that's a life fucking lesson right there, and here i was thinking i was just going to meander through life making bad decisions and being unhappy for the rest of my life. (sorry if the spelling's all fucked up or whatever, but luna is sitting directly in the middle of the screen trying desperately to stay awake despite the warm glow it gives off)

life in general is pretty fucking hard. but i can say today that it's all worth it in the end when you finally see what comes of it.

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